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The bestselling Fifty Shades trilogy first got hot as an e-book phenomenon, allowing women to read all about Ana and Christian's dalliances without having to show those bad covers to the world.

It's only been out for a day, but Fifty Shades Darker is already set for a follow-up film. The movie picked up a little after their breakup, although the audience is unsure how much time has actually passed.

The outlet adds that "Fifty Shades Darker" unfortunately has "none" of the tone that E.L. James had on the novel series.

But watching Fifty Shades Darker, I couldn't just accept this movie as the same kind of silly, flawed piece of entertainment as the first film. Plus every time she is at work, she's texting Christian really abrupt messages with lots of full stops and no kisses...priorities babes. (Some spoilers ahead.) Take, for instance, the film's first sex scene; after Ana and Christian start passionately making out, he moves down her body, and she tells him to go down on her - which he does, happily (well, as happily as Christian ever does anything).

Mrs. Robinson said, "You don't care about Christian, he'll see that". Then, movie reporter Bryan Alexander (@BryAlexand) breaks down the fancy Oscar nominees' lunch he attended this week (he sat at a really good table), and television reporter Bill Keveney (@billkev) shares intel from his frank interview with Mackenzie Phillips on why she's become an alcohol and drug counselor. Sure, she immediately runs into Christian's arms, but to see her kicking ass and saving herself from harm without a man's help is still pretty damn cool.

TUBS OF POPCORN: I give "Fifty Shades Darker" three tubs of popcorn out of five. Throughout the movie, Ana and her boss's relationship get very close and uneasy. Christian Grey might have been able to get that makeup off easily, but Dornan was probably scrubbing those red marks off deep into the night. But after one quick dinner, Ana is back to thinking that Christian will change for her.

"What an incredibly, indelibly idiotic movie", is how Rolling Stone's Peter Travers summed it up in his 0.5-star review. And that's true long before it gets to the part where we're told that Ana looks like his dead mother.

The 34-year-old Northern Irish actor and "Fifty Shades" star was spotted with new, short hair and a full beard Sunday in Los Angeles, E!"

Again, this isn't surprising. Viewers were surprised with a juicy scene featured at the end of the credits. But alas, in the end, Darker proves to be just as eyeroll-worthy as its predecessor, a film whose sparks of feminism are overshadowed by its bigger, more frustrating themes.

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